The Mural I Wouldn't Allow Myself To Celebrate
On personal achievement and “black excellence”
“Black excellence” implies mastery in composition and presentation. And it is a difficult standard to stand against when you feel you are an ultra-tryer on-er of artistic practices [me]. I am self-trained (haphazardly) and have been feeling the pressure of popping out and off on the first try. I test myself against the seemingly refined standards of Greats I admire and find I have failed… But that’s not really what I want for me. I don’t care for those outcomes (yet). I am still trying to love my process, the process of creating, the process of just being rather than achieving, the progress of waking up being enough, to celebrate how far I have come because won’t you…
come celebrate
with me that everyday
something has tried to kill me
and has failed.
- Lucille Clifton (1993)
And it has failed. It has failed, failed, failed. A celebration oF FAILURE, amen.
Guilty
of admonishing my own enjoyment of art
of diminishing my mission via comparison
of saying/sharing nothing because “it looks bad!” Looks bad compared to what?To who? The blank space there before I tried? Another me traipsing around here?
No good! Love my loose ends, threads, and broken puzzle piece posts.
It’s time to hype up my accomplishment that launched 2024 for me!
My Mural in Porto, Rua de Miguel Bombarda
I am pressing the send button today, “finished” or otherwise